What is Mindful Parenting?

What is Mindful Parenting?

Mindful parenting is when you pay attention to your parenting journey, emotions, triggers, and your child’s emotions and triggers. It is saying goodbye to reactive parenting and parenting with your emotions. Saying hello to peaceful parenting and thinking about that situation before reacting. (Read: Tips for the Overwhelmed Mom.)

How Can Mindful Parenting Help Us Become Peaceful Parents? 

Being a mindful parent may seem far-fetched to you. But the truth is everyone can become a mindful parent. Being a mindful parent will lead you to become a more peaceful parent. Why is this? When we approach the situation with her family and children by putting aside emotions and staying calm and mindful, we are less likely to react with her emotions and more likely to react with her mind and heart.

How to Get Started with Mindful Parenting

 Set Realistic Expectations for Yourself and Your Children 

If you want to start with mindful parenting, you need to be realistic about your expectations of yourself and your children.

For example, you are only one person, and you cannot do everything, even though you are a mom. You need to set realistic expectations for yourself. Realizing that you cannot do everything helps, so you will do the most important things first.

It is also important to be realistic about your expectations of your children. Your children are simply that: they are children.

They are also humans who make mistakes, have emotions, and even have bad days, just like you and me. When you decide to be a mindful parent, you are choosing to learn your child’s moods, approach situations by thinking about the deeper issues, and say goodbye to how you felt about something. Emotions are fleeting, but relationships with our family and children are essential. That is why it’s important to start practicing mindful parenting. 

Pay Attention to Your Emotions and What You Need 

As I said before, emotions are fleeting. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have them. You are not responsible for everything that happens inside your home. You cannot control your child’s moods, spouse’s attitude, etc. but you can control yourself.

Also, you can become more aware of your emotions and what caused you to feel a certain way. When you pay attention to your triggers and what triggers cause you emotional meltdowns, you are less likely to be reactive parents because you know what is causing you to be emotional. Self-care as a mom is essential. We cannot sacrifice our self-care.

Sacrificing our self-care does not make us the best parents out there. You can become a better parent and more peaceful parent when you make yourself a priority.

Pay Attention to Your Child’s Triggers

 

Children have triggers, too, just like adults have triggers. Being a mindful parent means paying attention to your child’s triggers and what caused them to have meltdowns.

Does your child need to sleep at a particular time every day? Then, do not plan a trip to the grocery store during naptime. That is just a recipe for disaster.

Did you try to eat every couple of hours? Ensure you have a snack handy so you can avoid meltdowns about food.

Remember Children Aren’t All the Same

It’s important to realize that every child is not the same. It’s easy to look at children and think that they each have the exact needs, but the truth is that every child is different.

I have worked with children my whole life, and I’ve always known this, but it became more apparent to me after we adopted her son from Vietnam. Because he experienced trauma and the suffering of his primary bond when he was a baby, he had different needs than my biological children. And I have to meet those needs in a different way than I would with my biological children.

So, if you see somebody parenting differently than you and you don’t understand, remember that the parent is the expert on their children just like you are the expert on your child. You know what your child needs and how to meet them. When you become a more mindful parent, it becomes easier to recognize your child’s needs mat.

Let Your Child Express Their Views and Listen (Even if They are Different Than Yours) 

Did you know that little children are human, just like you and me? There’s something my grandma always used to say: she would say that children are just little people, so talk to them like they’re little people.

I have never done baby talk in my house. I do not see the point in baby talk because children, like you and me, have their own thoughts and ideas to develop. They are capable of big ideas and significant conversations. Have you ever talked to a five-year-old?

Sit down and have a conversation about their thoughts. You may learn something that you did not know, or you may change your point of view on something.

Children Have Thoughts Just Like You

Being mindful means realizing your child has thoughts and ideas about things; sometimes, it may be different than yours. Allow your child to have their own thoughts and ideas about something without forcing your ideas on them.

Like yours, their thoughts and ideas will change as they get older, and that is OK. Enjoy your child enjoy how they think, enjoy their point of view, and sit down and talk to them.

Practice the Parenting Pause 

What is the pause? Practicing the pause requires taking a moment to yourself before you react to a situation and thinking. Think about what is the best way to handle the situation, what my child needs from me right now, and why this is triggering me so much.

When you practice the pause, it becomes easier to be mindful and peaceful when you approach a situation that otherwise might make you react with your emotions.

Ask for Forgiveness/Give Forgiveness Often

Being a mindful parent means offering forgiveness to your child often as much as they need. God tells us to forgive our brother 70×7. Doesn’t that mean we should forgive our children as well? Because here’s the truth: you, as a mom, have reacted in a way you should not have, haven’t you? It’s easy for a parent to want to hold onto her pride and not ask her children for forgiveness, but sometimes we need to do just that.

Have you ever asked the child for forgiveness? It is the most humbling experience, in my opinion. And the truth is children are quick to forgive, especially when they’re little, because they love you. So, offer your child forgiveness and grace. Accept that they will make mistakes because they are learning. You still make mistakes, and you are an adult.

Learn to Read Your Child’s Mood 

It is OK for your child to have a bad day. You have bad days, too. Sometimes, we must forgo the teaching moment and offer encouragement and comfort to the child. Only some things have to be a learning experience. The lesson can come later.

Learn to read your child’s mood by being a mindful parent. Learn to see if they’re having a bad day and why they’re having a bad day and be there for them even if they have made mistakes.

Because honestly, sometimes that’s all we need as adults. Your child is no different than you in this aspect. 

Ask if Your Child Wants a Do “Over” 

Have you ever given your child a do-over? Do overs are game changers in our house, When I see that my child is really struggling, or even if I am struggling and I have given in to my emotions, it helps when I pause, take a step back, and then ask my child if they want to do it over again.

Do they want to start the day with a fresh attitude of forgiveness and grace? Sometimes, we need to start over. I do over.

Our emotions do not have to ruin our day. Your child needs to learn that their emotions are fleeting, and it does not have to ruin their day either.

Say Yes to Grace More Often Than Not 

Grace is essential in raising a family. Offer your child as much grace as you can daily because they are human and learning. Furthermore, offer yourself grace because you can’t do everything.

Offer your spouse grace because they’re different from you. They may not do things the way you do, but you love them for a reason. They love you, and they do their best, too. Say yes to grace often. (Read: How to Recognize if Your Child Has Anxiety.)