Why is Respect Important?
Respect is highly valued. It is important that we learn to treat people with respect, even if they are different from us or have different views. In this article, I will discuss 13 ways to raise naturally respectful children.
Being around a respectful kid is very different from being around a disrespectful child, and being around a respectful adult is also very different from being around a disrespectful one.
Ask yourself if you would rather be in the presence of a respectful or disrespectful person. Chances are the answer is a respectful person.
Being respectful doesn’t mean being a doormat in that other people treat you badly. It simply means treating another person with humanity.
Can Kids Learn to Be Respectful at a Young Age?
Kids can learn to be respectful. It’s important to start teaching your child to be respectful at a very young age. Habits are either good or bad, and it is difficult to break a bad habit. As Charlotte Mason states, we are either actively or passively instilling habits into our children that they will carry with them.
Where Does Learning Respect Come From?
We learn respect from the people we keep company with. In a child’s case, that is their parents and their family. We learn by living in society and how to treat people with humanity. Additionally, children can also pick up habits from their peers and their teachers.
We also learn how to treat other people from the shows we watch, the media we consume, and the influence we are allowed to have in our lives.
Everything is learned, typically in the family home and dynamic—good and bad. It is our job as moms to teach our children the right way to treat other people.
13 Ways to Raise Naturally Respectful Kids
Start at Home
Anything you want to teach your child should always start at home. The reason is that you are the biggest influence for the first several years of your child’s life. Your child will pick up your habits whether you want them to or not.
That means if you are disrespectful to your spouse, your family members, or even to them, your child will see that, and they will start to pick up those habits. The reason is that they believe this is the right way to treat other people. Yes, it’s important to put up boundaries, especially if you have somebody in your life that is constantly bulldozing through them. But there are ways you can respectfully set up boundaries and still respect that they are also a human being.
Your child is watching you all the time. Yes, it’s not always fun, but it’s important to acknowledge that those little eyes see almost everything you do.
Model Respect When Interacting with People
As I said earlier, you can model respect for others even if you disagree. Yes, there are times in life when we will have to stand up for ourselves. We can use those moments if we have children around or even when they’re not around to show constraints and self-control and interact with others.
Being right is not always the most important thing. Your children will notice how you treat someone and how respectful you are to them. This will help teach them that even if we disagree with somebody, it doesn’t mean that we don’t like we can still set boundaries and stand up for ourselves in a respectful, kind manner.
Show Your Child Respect, too
Children are people. They deserve respect as well as you. Yes, they learn how to be respectful to their parents, grandparents, and other authority members by being taught manners at an early age. But you can also show your child respect.
You can do this by being mindful of their thoughts, space, and ideas.
This shouldn’t stop at your own kids either, showing respect to all kids is important. They aren’t just nuisances that exist in this world until they are older. They are real humans with thoughts and feelings.
This makes me think of something that happened a few years ago. My niece still remembers it, in fact she brought it up the other day.
A few years ago, my family, along with my brothers, sisters, and their kids when to the carnival hosted in our town. I waited with five of the kids in line for the teacups. At this time, they were probably between the ages of 4 and 8. We were first in line, and I noticed right away the man in charge was in a pretty sour mood. Well as the other kids got off the rides, and were exiting through the other side, somehow our gate came open. I think it wasn’t latched right and my niece leaned on it.
Well in a 5-year-olds mind, that means they can walk through, right? Before I knew what was happening, the kids in my care were pushing through the gate to go to the rides, and the man in charge went instantly mad. He grabbed my niece’s arm and pushed her back, not really even gently. Of course, it made me see red. I in return, grabbed his arm and removed it from my niece and said, “I don’t care what they are doing, you never put your hands on a child, especially one in my care.”
At first, he was very defensive. But then after a while, he approached me and apologized, and we talked about how he was having a bad day. My niece still remembers that day. And she remembers it as the day my aunt stood up for me. Children may be small, but they still deserve respect.
Ask Your Child Their Thoughts on Something
Children have their own thoughts and ideas about things. You can help them develop these thoughts and ideas by asking them questions. Instead of telling your child how to feel about a certain subject or topic, ask them how they feel and accept their answer, even if it is different from yours.
This will help your child learn how to develop their own ideas and realize that people can still love each other, have differing opinions, and be respectful of those opinions.
Chances are your opinions and thoughts on something may change as your grow older, and so will your child as they grow. Do not demand that your child be exactly like you about something. Be open to their thoughts and help them learn along the way.
Don’t Force Your Child to Show Affection
This is a big one. Some people are not touchy-feely. And that is OK. You can help your child learn how to show affection to the ones they love without giving physical affection if they don’t want to.
Respecting your child’s choice not to hug somebody will give your child the authority to own their own body. It will help them realize that they do not have to do something physically just because they think it’s expected of them.
Let Your Child Answer Questions Themselves
When your child is asked something, sometimes it’s easy and tempting to want to answer for them. This is especially true when your child is more apprehensive and quieter. However, we can give her child autonomy and teach them how to be respectful when someone is speaking to them by allowing them to answer the questions themselves.
Let your child form their thoughts and ideas on how to answer these questions, even if it’s not what you would say. This gives them the courage to also speak up. You can encourage your child to be respectful when someone is speaking to them gently, both saying, “So and so, asked you a question, honey. Can you please answer it?” or something along those lines.
Start Teaching Manners Early
Manners are a big deal. Have you ever been around somebody who does not have manners? It can be frustrating to try to hold a conversation with someone who does not have manners or who is disrespectful to another person.
Start young and teach your child manners. It does not have to be anything big; it can be something as simple as cleaning up after themselves at the dinner table, saying “please and thank you,” blowing their nose correctly, saying “excuse me,” etc. Children will need reminders. So, when you’re in the process of teaching your child manners, be prepared to tell them over and over and over again, but eventually, these manners will start to just click.
Teach Awareness of Other People Early on
Humans are innately self-centered. Children are no different. If we allow our children to cultivate self-centeredness, they will have trouble being aware of other people as they grow. But you can teach awareness of other people early on.
You can do this with your child by helping them look outside themselves and try to put themselves in someone else’s shoes. For example, say your child is playing with the blocks, and they haven’t touched them for a long time, but you notice that their sibling wants to turn. Instead of just saying share, maybe try saying something like this to your child: I know that you like playing with the blocks; the blocks are entertaining to build with. I believe that your sister also likes playing with the blocks. What do you think?
This helps your child take their focus off what they want to do and notice what their sibling likes. This may lead them to invite their sister or brother to play with them or let them have a turn on their own. You can do this in several ways, but in several different circumstances; you just have to be mindful of these circumstances when they present themselves.
Give Them Your Full Attention
I think one thing we struggle with as adults is dividing our attention. It’s easy to be on the phone or focused on work or what tasks you need to do, but when your child is talking to you or wants to spend time with you, try not to divide your attention between them and whatever else your mind is on. Give them your full attention.
This will help teach your child that when someone is once in your time, it is respectful to give them your full attention.
Teach Your Child Empathy Early on
Some people find empathy more natural, but it’s still a learned trait. Being able to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel empathy for their situation, even if you’ve never experienced it, is important in today’s society.
Don’t be afraid to talk about issues in the world with your children. Don’t be afraid to talk about homelessness or situations where somebody is being discriminated against; these situations can help teach empathy and let your child learn how to put themselves in a situation they have never been in and think about how another person may be feeling.
Work on Self-Control Daily with Your Child
Self-control takes work. Even as adults, we struggle with it sometimes. Teaching your child self-control early on can be beneficial to them. This is because it helps teach your child that not everything is about them and that they can learn to control themselves in social situations where they’re not happy.
Set Boundaries
Setting boundaries with your children is a must. Teach them early on that there are specific ways to speak to people, not interrupt conversations, etc. This will help your child naturally develop respect.
Be Consistent
Stay consistent with your rules and boundaries. When you expect something from your child, don’t sometimes give in just because it’s easier. Remember that you are shaping little hearts and minds.
Why Do We Need More Respectful People in the World?
Being respectful of other people should be a trait everyone has. Unfortunately, it has gone to the wayside too often. We have replaced respect for others with self-centeredness. It is possible to respect another person’s humanity even if you do not agree with everything they think or say. This starts first at home.
Why Should We be Consistent with Teaching our Children How to be Respectful?
One typically only learns a habit by repeating it over and over. This is why consistency is key when it comes to raising children.
One friend once told me, “Add ten years to your child’s behavior.” Is it cute or appropriate, then? If not, then you need to start working on it now.
Habits have a way of sneaking into our lives without us noticing. Our children are no different.
What to do now: Join the FB group From Chaos to Calm.