How to Encourage Gratitude in Your Child

How to Encourage Gratitude in Your Child

We live in an entitled world where many people believe the world owes them something. That’s why it’s more important now than ever to encourage gratitude in your child.

We must teach our children that the world does not owe them anything. Hard work and perseverance will help them in life. When we raise children who don’t believe they’re entitled, they’re more likely to be grateful for the things and people in their lives. (Effective Ways to Calm Down a Toddler Tantrum)

Why is Entitlement Wrong? 

Entitlement is believing that you deserve something for nothing. It is wrong because it promotes a selfish nature in ourselves and our children. Our children need to learn to look outside themselves and realize that they are not always handed what they want.

When Should We Start Teaching Our Children How to be Grateful? 

As soon as your child can understand the concept of being grateful for something they have or someone in their life, that is when you should start teaching them. This happens a lot younger than we think.

Why is it Important to Teach Gratefulness? 

Teaching a spirit of gratefulness is very important for our children. It teaches someone to look outside of themselves and shred the selfish nature inherent in humans. It allows them to look at other people outside of themselves and put themselves in other people’s shoes.

Teaching gratefulness also shows them how to show others they appreciate what is done for them. Because, let’s be honest, no one likes to be around an entitled person who thinks only about what you do for them or think it’s always because they deserve it.

How Can You Teach Being Grateful When the World Teaches Selfishness? 

The first thing you can do to teach gratefulness to your children is model it inside your home. If you model a selfish atmosphere for your children, they will become selfish.

But if you model gratefulness and teach them to think about others outside themselves, they will adapt and adopt those values.

Explain What a Privilege is to Your Child

The first thing you can do to help teach gratefulness to your child is teach what a privilege is. A privilege is something that you don’t automatically have. It’s something that is given to you, and it can be taken away.

For example, I always tell my children that having screen time is a privilege, not a right, and that is why they have to earn the privilege of having screen time every day.

Clarify the Difference Between a Privilege and a Right Often 

It is important to explain to your child the difference between a privilege and a right. Like I stated in my example above, I usually use examples when my child thinks that they deserve to do something just because.

I explained that things like going to the zoo with mommy and daddy or having a new pair of shoes are a privilege because we give them to them. It is not a right that they automatically get. This is a great approach when your child begs for a new toy or something.

This will help teach them to be grateful for the privileges that they do have in their lives. And not automatically assume that they have the right to have it just because they want something.

Talk About What You are Thankful for as a Family often

Talk about what you are thankful for as a family often. Furthermore, talk about the people in your life who are important to you and why you are thankful for them.

Also, talk about how you are thankful for having a roof over your head, food to eat, clothes on your back, etc. This will bring thoughts of gratefulness to your child for what they have.

Stay Consistent with Your Child

Consistency is the key. If we expect certain behaviors from our children, we must stay diligent and consistent with our reactions to those behaviors.

So, if you change your willingness to be grateful and talk about privilege and rights, don’t give in every time they beg for a toy at the store. Or they throw a tantrum every time because they didn’t get what they wanted.

This is because of mixed messages to your child. Stay consistent with the values you want to instill in your children.

Introduce Chores to Your Child

Hard work is an integral part of learning to be grateful. Your children can start learning this value by taking part in chores. We tell our children all the time that we all live in this house and are all responsible for caring for it.

We don’t ask a lot out of her children but to take care of the things that they have and help clean up after themselves. There are chores that even young children can do, and when they start learning to make these choices, they learn the value of hard work and taking care of what they have.

Don’t Give in to Your Child Just Because They Want Something

We’ve all been there; we go to the store, and our child sees a fancy new toy that you know they will only play with for a few minutes and toss aside, and they beg and beg and beg for it.

Sometimes, it’s easy to want to give in. I love to lavish my children and give them what they want, but I know that if I give them everything they want, they won’t learn to be grateful for what they have. So, don’t give in to your child whenever they want something. Your child does not need a piece of candy, a new toy, or a snack whenever they go to the grocery store with you.

Story Time:

Here’s a recent story from our own lives. Our son has a difficult time learning to take care of the things that he has. We have been working hard to teach him to take care of the things he has been gifted.

Recently, a family member got him an airplane made of wood. He broke it not even 24 hours after he was gifted this toy. He cried about this broken toy for a good 15 minutes. I had him sit by me and explain that it’s OK to be sad. He then demanded that he get a new one. I explained to him that no, you cannot have a new airplane and that this family member did not need to buy you a new one; he was responsible for taking care of the things he was gifted.

He didn’t automatically deserve to have a new one. This is an important thing to teach our children. It isn’t easy because children still need to understand the concept of money and hard work. But our children must know they don’t deserve something or get something else just because they want it.

Teach Manners- Please and Thank You.

Teach your manners; they’re important for our children. As I grow older, I notice that fewer people have manners as adults. Simply saying please and thank you goes a long way when interacting with people.

So, start teaching your children young what manners are, which they need to have as they grow.

Talk About the Less Fortunate

Talk to your children about the less fortunate. It’s easy not to want to shelter children from the realities of life, but it’s equally important to teach your children that not everybody is as privileged as they are and not everybody has the things they have.

For example, we adopted our son from Vietnam. He lived in an orphanage for the first four years of his life, and we have talked to our children about other children who live in orphanages. Those who are not privileged to have their birth families with them, and the snacks and the treats they get all the time, the new clothes they get, etc.

This has affected our oldest daughter and helped her think outside of herself and about what other people have versus what she has. It has created a grateful heart in her. Yes, it’s hard to hear these things as children and even as adults, but it’s essential if you want to teach your children how to be grateful.

Serve People in Need as a Family

Step outside of your home and serve people in need as a family. Find a family who could help or give to a charity, orphanage, etc. This will help your child learn to think outside themselves and think about somebody who needs something as essential as clothes, food, or shelter.

Why is Being Grateful Important?

It’s essential to be grateful because it’s important to appreciate the people in our lives and the things we have. We must be grateful for what we have, even as hard workers.

And it’s important to know that not everyone is as privileged or blessed as we are. When we are grateful, we are able to think about other people and think outside of what we want and what other people might need. (Read: What is Emotional Invalidation?)