Do you want to become a more gentle mom? Take a look at these 31 tips below.
Don’t Overschedule Your Family
Motherhood can be stressful. Sometimes, it’s easy to give in to the stresses and let peace slip away. Sure, having a peaceful home is a great dream, but many moms feel it is out of their reach. It can be hard to become a more gentle parent.
This was me a few years ago.
We were new parents with a toddler and a baby and fresh in our grief after the death of our son. I felt peace in a home was a far-fetched theory.
I started The Peaceful Nest to create a peaceful home for my family and myself.
And I want my children to look back and think, wow, my mom was peaceful.
I don’t want to merely survive motherhood. I want to enjoy it.
You cannot simply allow a peaceful home life to come to you. You must create and plan for it!
What is Gentle Parenting?
Gentle parenting is a style that focuses on building a solid emotional connection with your child and setting clear yet respectful boundaries. Of course, it can be tough to be a gentle parent all the time—life gets busy, and sometimes, we can get caught up in reacting instead of responding. But peaceful parenting is worth it because it leads to happier, more well-adjusted kids (and parents!).
Here are 31 ways you can start peaceful parenting today:
31 Ways to Become a More Gentle Parent Today
Give your Child Autonomy
Giving your child the freedom to make choices is an excellent parenting method. It allows them to feel in control and respected. You don’t have to give them options for everything, but giving them options that concern them will help your child feel valued and respected. No one likes to feel controlled, even children.
- Allow them to choose their outfit for the day
- Ask them what they would like for breakfast
- Give them a few options for activities
- Let them pick out a book to read before bedtime
- Encourage them to help with decision-making, like what color to paint the living room
Set Clear Boundaries
Setting boundaries is an essential part of gentle parenting. It helps your child know what is expected of them and gives them a sense of security.
- Explain the consequences of not following the boundary
- Set a reasonable limit
- Be consistent with enforcing the boundary
- Avoid giving in to tantrums or bribes
- Use gentle and positive reinforcement when the boundary is followed
Encourage Positive Behavior
There are many ways to encourage positive behavior, but gentle parenting focuses on using positive reinforcement instead of punishment.
- Offer praise and encouragement
- Give hugs and cuddles
- Use stickers or charts
- Offer small rewards
- Provide attention and affection
Foster Emotional Intelligence
Fostering emotional intelligence in your child is a vital part of gentle parenting. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand, express, and manage emotions.
- Model emotional intelligence yourself
- Encourage your child to express their emotions
- Help them label their emotions
- Teach them how to cope with difficult emotions
- Offer comfort and support
Create a Positive Parent-Child Relationship
A positive parent-child relationship is essential for gentle parenting to be successful.
- Spend quality time together
- Play together
- Read together
- Talk about your day
- Listen to your child
Remember, Connection Is Your Main Priority
Connection is your main priority when gentle parenting. This means you constantly seek ways to connect with your child and build a strong emotional bond.
- Put down your phone
- Make eye contact
- Be present in the moment
- Listen with your full attention
- Follow your child’s lead
Take Time for Self-Care
Self-care is so important for parents, but it’s often the first thing we do when we’re busy. Gentle parenting requires a lot of patience and energy, so it’s important to ensure you’re taking care of yourself.
- Get enough sleep
- Eat healthy meals
- Exercise
- Take breaks when you need them
- Spend time with friends and family
Make Time for Your Spouse
Making time for your spouse, even just a few minutes a day, is important. This will help you stay connected and focused on gentle parenting.
- Talk to each other every day
- Go on dates
- Spend time talking about your day
- Do something together that you both enjoy
- Plan a weekend getaway
Be On the Same Page as Your Spouse
Being on the same page as your spouse regarding gentle parenting is essential. This will help you avoid conflict and confusion.
- Talk about your parenting philosophies
- Set gentle parenting goals together
- Discuss how you will handle discipline
- Make a plan for sharing the parenting load
- Check in with each other regularly
Lower Your Expectations of Yourself
When gentle parenting, it’s important to lower your expectations of yourself. This will help you avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
- Don’t try to do it all
- Accept help from others
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help
- Set realistic goals
- Don’t compare yourself to other parents
Lower Your Expectations of Your Children
When gentle parenting, it’s important to lower your expectations of your children. This will help you avoid feeling disappointed and frustrated.
- Don’t expect them to be perfect
- Don’t compare them to other children
- Accept that they will make mistakes
- Don’t expect them to always be happy
- Give them grace
Find Your People
It’s essential to find your people when you’re gentle parenting. Gentle parenting can be challenging, and having a support system is helpful.
- Join a gentle parenting group
- Follow gentle parenting blogs
- Find gentle parenting resources online
- Attend gentle parenting workshops
- Connect with other gentle parents in your community
Teach Your Child How to Help
It’s important to teach your child how to help around the house. This will help them feel useful and contribute to the family.
- Give them age-appropriate chores
- Show them how to do the chore
- Let them know when you need help
- Thank them for their help
- Reward them for helping
Become Gentle but Firm
It’s vital to become gentle but firm with your children. This will help you set boundaries and teach them how to behave.
- Explain the rules clearly
- Give gentle reminders
- Use positive reinforcement
- Avoid shouting or punishment
- Be consistent
Find Alternatives to Harsh Discipline
When starting out on this journey, it can be helpful to find alternatives to discipline. This will help you avoid using punishment and teach your children how to behave.
- Use gentle reminders
- Give positive reinforcement
- Ignore minor misbehavior
- Use time-out sparingly
- Teach them about natural consequences
Process Disobedience Before You React
When your child disobeys, it’s essential to process their disobedience before reacting. This will help you avoid reacting in a way that is not gentle.
- Remove yourself from the situation
- Take a deep breath
- Count to 10
- Think about what you want to say
- Respond in a gentle but firm voice.
Read: How to stop being a reactive mom.
Teach Your Child Calm Down Techniques
When you’re gentle parenting, teaching your child calm-down techniques is important. This will help them deal with their emotions healthily.
- Model the behavior you want to see
- Teach them deep breathing exercises
- Give them a stuffed animal to hug
- Let them listen to calm music
- Encourage them to express their feelings through art
Practice Your Own Calm-Down Techniques
When you’re gentle parenting, practicing calm-down techniques can be helpful. This will help you avoid reacting in a way that is not gentle.
Don’t Overfill Your Plate
When gentle parenting, it’s important not to overfill your plate. This will help you avoid burnout and be your best gentle parent.
- Set realistic goals
- Make time for yourself
- Get help from friends and family
- Take breaks when you need them
- Seek professional help if you need it
Separate Your Emotions from Your Child’s Emotions
When you’re gentle parenting, you must separate your emotions from your child’s. This will help you be the best gentle parent you can be.
- Don’t take their behavior personally
- Understand that their emotions are not a reflection of you
- Don’t compare your child to others
- Focus on your own emotions
- Seek professional help if you need it
Have a Plan for When You Feel Stressed and Angry
When you’re gentle parenting, planning when you feel stressed and angry is important. This will help you avoid reacting in a way that is not gentle.
Read: How to overcome angry Mommy.
Learn to Apologize to Your Child
You must learn to apologize to your child when you’re gentle parenting. This will help you build a strong and healthy relationship with your child.
- Admit when you’re wrong
- Take responsibility for your actions
- Don’t make excuses
- Show your child that you’re sorry
- Ask for forgiveness
Practice the Pause
When you’re gentle parenting, try to practice the pause. Practicing the pause of parenting will help you stop and think before reacting. It creates a delay to help you clear your thoughts.
- Take a deep breath
- Count to 10
- Remove yourself from the situation
- Go for a walk
- Talk to a friend
Read: How to practice the pause of parenting.
Have a Parenting Mantra
When you’re gentle parenting, it can be helpful to have a parenting mantra. A parenting mantra is a short phrase you can say to yourself when stressed or angry. It can help you remember to be gentle.
- “I will be the best gentle parent I can be.”
- “I will not overreact.”
- “I will be patient.”
- “I will not take their behavior personally.”
- “I will apologize when I’m wrong.”
Read 21 peaceful parenting mantras.
Take Ownership of Your Nos
When you’re gentle parenting, taking ownership of your no’s is important. It can be easy to give in after already saying no. Especially if your child is great at wearing you down. Learn to say no in a gentle but firm way. Take ownership of them.
- Be clear and concise
- Don’t make excuses
- Don’t apologize
- Be gentle but firm
- Stand your ground
Choose Your Battles
When you’re gentle parenting, it’s important to choose your battles. You can’t fight every battle. Choose the most important ones to you and let the rest go. This will help you avoid burnout and be your best gentle parent.
- Don’t sweat the small stuff
- Set priorities
- Let some things go
- Don’t try to please everyone
- Focus on what’s important to you
Talk About Emotions with Your Child
When gentle parenting, it’s important to talk about emotions with your child. This will help them understand their feelings and how to deal with them, as well as how you’re feeling.
- Listen to your child
- Acknowledge their feelings
- Help them label their emotions
- Talk about how you’re feeling
- Offer gentle guidance and support
Don’t Have Too Many House Rules.
When gentle parenting, it’s important not to have too many house rules. Too many regulations can be overwhelming for both you and your child and can also lead to conflict. Choose the most important rules and let the rest go.
- Keep it simple
- Have a family meeting
- Let your child help make the rules
- Focus on the most important rules
- Be willing to change the rules
Encourage Your Child’s Independence
Learn That Your Child is Their Own Person
When you’re gentle parenting, it’s important to encourage your child’s independence. This will help them become a confident and independent person. However, it’s also important to remember that your child is their own person. They are not an extension of you.
- Give them choices
- Let them make mistakes
- Encourage them to try new things
- Don’t do everything for them
- Respect their opinions and choices
Practice Do-Overs
When you’re gentle parenting, it’s important to practice do-overs. This will help you both when you make mistakes. In addition, it shows your child that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’re willing to try again.
- Acknowledge your mistake
- Apologize
- Try again
- Thank your child for being patient
- Keep trying
Set Limits with Your Child
When gentle parenting, it’s important to set limits with your child. This will help them feel safe and secure and help them know what is and isn’t acceptable.
- Be clear about the limit
- Explain why the limit is in place
- Be consistent
- Don’t give in
- Offer alternatives
Remember Your Child Is Human
When you’re gentle parenting, it’s important to remember your child is human. This will help you be more understanding and compassionate. It will also help you remember that they are learning and growing.
- They make mistakes
- They have bad days
- Your child needs time to learn and grow
- They need your patience and understanding
- They are human, just like you
Remember, Your Child is Still Learning and Growing
When gentle parenting, it’s important to remember that your child is still learning and growing. This will help you be more patient and also help you remember that they are still learning to cope with their emotions.
Be Mindful of Your Words
When you’re gentle parenting, being mindful of your words is important. This will help you avoid saying things that could hurt your child’s feelings and become more aware of how you speak to your child.
- Choose your words carefully
- Avoid saying things that could hurt their feelings
- Be aware of the tone of your voice
- Don’t speak to them in a condescending way
- Respect their feelings and opinions
Let Go of Control
It’s important to let go of control when you’re gentle parenting. This will help you be more flexible and open-minded. It will also help you remember that your child is their own person. They are not an extension of you.
- Give them choices
- Let them make mistakes
- Encourage them to try new things
- Don’t do everything for them
- Respect their opinions and choices
Be Willing to Change
When gentle parenting, it’s important to be willing to change. This will help you adapt to your child’s needs and be more flexible and open-minded.
- 1. Be open to new ideas
- 2. Try new things
- 3. Don’t be afraid of change
- 4. Be willing to adjust your parenting style
- 5. Be flexible
Pay Attention to Your Child’s Triggers
When gentle parenting, it’s important to pay attention to your child’s triggers. This will help you avoid situations that could lead to a meltdown and be more understanding and compassionate.
- Be aware of their triggers
- Avoid situations that could trigger a meltdown
- Be understanding and compassionate
- Don’t try to fix everything
- Respect their feelings
Encourage Positive Behavior
When gentle parenting, it’s important to encourage positive behavior. This will help your child feel good about themselves and learn what is and isn’t acceptable.
- Catch them being good
- Praise them for their good behavior
- Reward them for their excellent behavior
- Ignore their lousy behavior
- Help them learn from their mistakes
Remember that your child is human if you want to be a gentler parent. This will help you be more understanding and compassionate. It will also help you remember that they are learning and growing.
Next, be mindful of your words, let go of control, and be willing to change. Next, pay attention to your child’s triggers and encourage positive behavior. Lastly, don’t try to fix everything.
Just be there for your child and help them learn from their mistakes. Gentle parenting is an integral part of raising a happy and healthy child. So, start today!
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