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How to Fill Your Child’s Emotional Bucket
What is an Emotional Bucket?
Children need certain things from their parents. There is no debating this fact. They need shelter, food, and the right to an education, but what else do they need? They need to feel loved, and each child’s emotional bucket needs to be filled daily. (Read: Dear Internet, I’m Not a Perfect Mom.)
When a child feels loved and secure, that is when their emotional bucket is being filled.
Most of the time, parents do this without realizing it. We fill our children’s emotional bucket by the way we care for them and love them.
There are some ways we can continue to fill our child’s emotional bucket intentionally until it becomes almost second nature to us if.
Why is it Important to Fill Our Child’s Emotional Bucket?
The bond that a child has with his or her parents is extremely vital in their lives while growing up. The first couple of years when a child is really young that is when the emotional attachment he or she has with his parents is crucial.
If the primary attachment is severed when a child is young it can be extremely difficult for a child as they grow.
We have experience with our adoptive son. When a child doesn’t get the primary bond and security in the first couple years of life, challenges can arise as they grow.
This is True for all Children
That is why the primary attachment with either biological parents or a caregiver in the first 2 to 3 years is extremely important for a child.
Now that we have talked about what an emotional bucket is and why it is important, what are some ways that we can intentionally fill our child’s emotional bucket daily?
Nine Ways to Fill Your Child’s Emotional Bucket
Use Daily Affirmations
Do you use daily affirmations when you’re speaking to your child? This is something I started a couple of years ago.
Although I speak daily affirmations throughout the day to my children when I see that it’s necessary, I also make it a point to do daily affirmations with all my children right before they go to bed.
I speak truth into their lives about who they are, who they can be, and who God has created them to be. For example I have them repeat after me and I say I am brave. I am smart. I am kind. I’m a leader not a follower. Along with several other affirmations.
We add to their daily affirmations when we see areas in which they may need encouragement. For example, If I see that my child is really struggling with not feeling confident in their intelligence and the capability to do something, then I will add that I am capable or I can do all things through Christ, which gives me strength.
Are you ready to become a more mindful mom? Try my mindfulness journal, 52 pages designed to help moms become more mindful and intentional.
Listen to Your Child’s Thoughts and Ideas
Sometimes, as adults, we think we know everything. But you might be surprised you can learn something new or think about something in a different way after speaking to your child.
One thing my mom and my mamaw always said was that children are just little people who have big thoughts and big ideas, just like you and me. Talk to them like you would anybody else.
We have never done baby talk in our house. We have never don’t twaddle or spoken to our children as though their thoughts and ideas are not important.
Even if I think what they are saying doesn’t make much sense or it seems silly to me I continue to listen to their thoughts and ideas. Because doing so will show your child that they are valued and important to both society and their family. Their thoughts in their ideas are also valued and important.
Give Your Child Simple Choices
This is true for children especially if they are younger. When a child feels like they have a choice over something they feel empowered.
Children don’t have many choices growing up. If you really think about it they are at the mercy of the adults in their lives. They don’t often get to decide when they eat when they go out to play, where they go to school, etc.
So, giving your child simple choices can help them feel empowered as they grow.
For example, ask your child if they’d rather have a red cup or a blue cup to drink out of, especially if they are little. Or where would they like to eat tonight? What would they like to wear today? How would they like to wear their hair?
If you look around there’s all kinds of ways we can give our children choices that are simple and easy.
Spend One-On-One Time with Each Child
Children can be prone to jealousy even with siblings. It can be difficult to manage everything that’s on our plate as a mom but if you can try to spend one on one time with each of your children either daily or weekly.
It doesn’t have to be going out every week with all your children; it could be as simple as putting each of them to bed individually and spending 15 minutes reading them a book by themselves.
Read a Good Book to Your Child/Cuddle
Most children love to be read to because reading with their mom and dad is a way they feel loved.
So if you can, make it a habit to try to read at least one book with your child every night or during the day and spend that time cuddling and talking.
This might seem simple, but it’s a great way to fill your child’s emotional bucket.
Keep Your Own Emotions in Check
Children feed off of their parent’s emotions. This doesn’t seem fair, especially if your mom thinks that your emotions and mood can affect your entire family. But it is true.
This doesn’t mean you’re not going to have moments where you lose it; I know there are moments where I lose it. I see in those moments how my emotions affect my children.
So if you’re prone to reactive parenting then it’s a great practice to start paying attention to your own emotions and being mindful of how what you are saying and feeling is having an effect on your own child.
Encourage Your Child’s Own Strengths
Each child is different, even siblings. One of your children might be great at reading and the other one might be great at arts. Still the other one might be awesome in math.
Whatever your child’s strength is, encourage them to use their own strength. Don’t try to force their siblings’ or friends’ strengths and interests on them.
Instead, praise them for what they can do. Give your child praise and encouragement in the areas that are strong, and then in the areas that are weak, give them encouragement. But don’t pressure them to be at a certain level that another child is at if that is not their strength.
Do Not Compare Your Child to Any Other Sibling
No one likes to be compared to another person. Children are the exact same way. Don’t compare them to their siblings, cousins, or friends. Praise them for their own individuality because they are individuals.
Your child has their own unique strengths, thoughts, ideas, and interests. Celebrate their individuality and refrain from trying to compare them to something or someone they are not.
Give Them Responsibility
Having a sense of responsibility can motivate your child and give them confidence in who they are.
So if you want to fill your child’s emotional bucket, fill it by giving them responsibilities around their own home And in their own lives.
Filling a Child’s Bucket Can be Simple When it’s Done Intentionally
Intentionally filling your child’s bucket can be simple. It takes some time, especially when you’re not used to doing it, but every person has their own emotional bucket that needs to be filled.
When you have a child, you can help them fill their emotional bucket as they grow. Doing so can help them feel loved, Important, and valued. (Read: How to Say Goodbye to Angry Mommy.)
What to do next:
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