Understanding the Signs of Anxiety in Children

In recent years, we have learned more and more about anxiety and other mental disorders. Where anxiety may have been taboo a few decades ago, research has shed plenty of light on how it affects more people than previously realized. This may be because anxiety disorder has gone up in recent years. While anxiety is a disorder that is mainly associated with adults, it affects more children than people think. If you think your child may be affected by anxiety, it’s important to first understand the signs of anxiety in children. (Read Can You Use Positive Psychology in Parenting?)

Signs of Anxiety in Children

Anxiety doesn’t always present the same from child to child. However, there are several key signs that you can keep an eye out for if you suspect your child has anxiety.

Irritability

Although all kids can be irritable from time to time (just like adults), irritability can also be a sign of anxiety. Perhaps your child is constantly snapping at their siblings and friends, or even you. It’s important to keep a record in your mind of how often your child is irritable. Does anything ease their irritability? Or are they constantly in an irritable mood? Do you have to tiptoe around their emotions to avoid setting them off?

Irritability can occur in anxious children when they feel like they are out of control. They may become bossy or seem controlling because they are grasping at anything in their lives that they can control. If they are unable to control situations, they may become irritable.

Changes in Appetite

Has your child’s appetite changed? Do they constantly skip meals? On the flip side, anxiety can also cause people to binge eat. Keep a note of any changes in appetite that you may notice in your child.

Unable to Relax

Children who have anxiety may find it difficult to relax. They may become worked up over a seemingly small event, their minds may be racing a mile a minute, and they may be overthinking all the possible scenarios that can play out. This, in itself, can make it hard for a child with anxiety to relax. Also, telling your child to relax will probably have the opposite effect on them.

Sleeping Disruptions

Children with anxiety may also have sleep disruptions. They may find it difficult to fall asleep at night because their mind is racing. Other times, waking up in the morning may be more difficult.

Nightmares

Nightmares and night terrors can also be a common symptom of anxiety. With a mind that is running over the top, their thoughts can manifest into nightmares that wake them up at night.

Fear of Mistakes

Does your child fear making mistakes? Does this fear hold them back in school or socially? While most people have a small degree of fear of making mistakes, a debilitating fear can be a sign that something else is happening with your child.

Worrying About “What Ifs”

Sometimes, children with anxiety have specific fears. Other times, their fears are more generalized. They may become obsessed with the what-ifs. These worries can be about several things. Sometimes, these worries include things like:

• What if there is a tornado and I get sucked up and die?
• What if someone comes up to me and kidnaps me?
• If I speak in front of my classmates, they will make fun of me.
• I will fail every test and never pass school.
• What if mom never comes home when she goes to the store?
• What if dad gets in a car wreck and dies?

These fears and more can be shared by children and adults alike. However, a child with anxiety may have many intrusive thoughts that show up as what-ifs. These what-ifs may be difficult for children with anxiety to shake off.

Low Confidence

A child who has anxiety may also have low self-esteem and confidence. This symptom can make it more difficult for children to move past the what-ifs and worries.

Excessive Fear

While it’s normal to worry about what-ifs, sometimes these anxieties take up a notch and become excessive fear. This excessive fear can show up as something that you know is not likely a possibility (like a tick burrowing into a child’s head and killing them.) or it could be a genuine possibility that has to do with safety or something terrible happening to someone they love.

When the anxiety symptom of excessive fear shows up, it can be hard to comfort your child. They may believe everything their intrusive thoughts are telling them. These excessive fears can make it difficult for your child to function in reality because it holds them back.

Worrying About Something Happening to Someone They Love

One of the excessive fears that children with anxiety deal with is the genuine fear that something terrible is going to happen to someone they love. This fear can be triggered by seeing a loved one experiencing something traumatic, like a car wreck or a cancer diagnosis.

Other times, this fear doesn’t have any triggers. There’s always the very real fact that someone we love may pass away or have something happen to them. Helping our children cope with this fear can be challenging but crucial for learning how to cope with reality.

Unable to Concentrate

Children with anxiety can have a difficult time concentrating on tasks like schoolwork or chores. This is because their minds may be consumed with all the fears and what-ifs; there isn’t room for them to focus on what they have to do.

Frequent Headaches

Stress and anxiety can cause frequent headaches. If you suspect that your child may have anxiety, keep an eye out for any outward physical signs. Anxiety can show up physically as well, not just mentally.

Constant Stomachaches

Anxiety can also present physically with stomachaches. If your child constantly has stomachaches before attending school, doing homework, leaving the house, etc. Then, they may have anxiety.

If your child presents with one or more of these symptoms, it is a good idea to talk to your child’s doctor. They can help you determine the next course of action.

Different Types of Anxiety in Children

Anxiety is a term used to cover several different types of this disorder. Anxiety in children doesn’t always look the same. Here are a few different types of anxiety that children may have.

1. Phobias
2. Social Anxiety
3. Separation Anxiety
4. Generalized Anxiety
5. Panic Disorder
6. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder
7. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

How to Help Child Cope With Anxiety

There are many different ways to help your child cope with anxiety. It’s always a good idea to talk to your child’s doctor if you suspect they have anxiety. Your child’s doctor may suggest they try Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This can help retrain a child’s brain and help them learn to cope with anxiety.

Other Ways to Help a Child Cope With Anxiety Include:

1. Deep breathing techniques.
2. Encourage a growth mindset.
3. Praise your child for their effort.
4. Remember to prepare your child whenever there’s going to be a change.
5. Expose your child to their fears in a gentle way.
6. Monitor what your child is watching and listening to.
7. Don’t accommodate their fears; instead, talk about having realistic expectations about life.
8. Remind your child that they are capable of handling any situation.
9. Create predictable routines.
10. Help the child recognize their signs of anxiety and when they may be on the verge of an anxiety attack.
11. Encourage your child to express their feelings and thoughts with an outlet like writing, drawing, or even a sport.
12. Remain positive even when you are being realistic.
13. Don’t try to eliminate all anxiety.
14. Respect feelings.
15. Reframe from reinforcing your child’s fears.
16. Teach mindfulness strategies like the 3 3 3 Rule.
17. Identify your child’s anxiety triggers.
18. Challenge intrusive thoughts and unhelpful thoughts that your child may be having.
19. Encourage your child to eat a healthy diet.
20. Encourage children to become active and exercise (it can help motivate them if you join them!)

Also Read: 7 Ways to Build Self Confidence in Your Child