MY STORY DIDN’T BEGIN WITH ME.
When I was a little girl, I was fascinated with the undeniable truth that my story did not begin at my birth. In order for me to be here today, intricate details had to take place before I was even a mere thought in my parents’ minds. One of those details included a seemingly ordinary man and woman.
It was the year 1958. This couple had experienced a difficult tragedy, a tubal pregnancy, that left the woman without any way to bear her own biological children.
Fast forward six years later to the beginning of someone else’s story.
A baby girl, the youngest of a surprise twin pregnancy, she was the niece of our seemingly ordinary man and woman. The baby and her brother needed a stable, loving home, and this couple wanted these children.
They became a family through adoption.
That couple, my grandparents.
That little girl, my mother.
And they were anything but ordinary. They were extraordinary.
THE LEGACY OF ADOPTION
I was a young child the first time I heard about adoption.
The story was my mother’s own adoption. I became intrigued. I asked my Mamaw to tell me the story all the time. When I grew older I would ask my Mom her point of view, asking for different details the older I became.
Sometimes when you hear adoption stories, they can sound like fairy tales, it is easy to romanticize these stories. Adoptions though, are not without their challenges and heartbreak. The start of an adoption story always begins with the severing of a child’s primary bond. It is heartbreaking. In my child mind, I did not grasp this heartbreak yet, I only knew, maybe one day I would want to be there for a child who needed me.
BELIZE AND ORPHANS
When I was in College, I traveled to Belize on a Mission trip. What I saw broke my heart into a million pieces. I lost my naivety to the trials so many in poverty-stricken places experience.
Homelessness
Poverty
Orphans.
The images of little children on the street with no family are still burned into my mind. God broke my heart when he showed me what breaks his. I knew then; adoption was a part of my future.
VIETNAM AND OUR SON
My husband and I started talking about adopting in 2017. We were about to start the process of adopting from India, when I saw his picture and profile. You know when you hear those adoption stories that say you just knew that was your child? I never really believed them, until then. This child was from a different country than we were even considering. I anxiously waited for my husband to get home so I could share with him this child who captured my heart.
We started the process last December to adopt our son from Vietnam. The hardest part so far has been the waiting. Knowing he is in a different country. Desiring to hold him and making sure he is okay, if I let it, my heart could break every day from the wait. However, we know God has a plan, and we are trusting his timing. The intricate details of our lives weave together a web that include more than we can even fathom. Our story doesn’t start with us. It shouldn’t end with us either.
BUT DOESN’T ADOPTION COST TOO MUCH?
This is the most common question we have received. Doesn’t it cost too much? I read a quote from Life Song just the other day that sums it all up for me;
“Our ‘no’ will always cost orphaned and vulnerable children more than our ‘yes’ will ever cost us.”
Going into our adoption, we were discouraged many times by the fees and costs, sometimes not knowing how we would be able to pay for them. God has shown up every time. We have been able to cover all our agency fees with grants, fundraising, and hard work. I am still in awe when I think about it! Now, our son has been home for four years and is thriving. I would be lying if I said there weren’t challenges, because of course there has been. However, would we adopt him again? Absolutely.
ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT ADOPTION?
Maybe you are thinking about adopting but the mountain in front of you seems too daunting. I want to encourage you. There are so many programs available to help adoptive families. There are support groups, trainings and financial aid available to anyone who want to take that first step. My husband and I have many whys when it comes to adopting our child.
A little baby girl who needed a loving family and a couple who took that leap. They are my first why. They are the reason I am here today.
A baby boy who needs a loving home, two parents who want him, two parents willing to sacrifice for him. He is my second why. (Read Now: Dear Internet, I’m not a Perfect Mom.)
What is your why?
What to do now: Join the FB Group From Chaos to Calm.