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Two Tips to Help You Become a Calmer Mom Today
How do we become a calmer mom? Today, I will be discussing two habits to start implementing in your day-to-day life that can help you become a calmer mom when life hits you hard.
First, I want to say this: No one is ever calm all the time. It’s not possible. I lose my cool sometimes, too. It’s human nature. But there are certain steps we can take as moms to help us be calmer when life hits us, or the daily grind drags us down. But it is possible to become a calmer mom with intentionality. (Read: 14 Ways to Stop Being an Angry Mommy Today.)
Sometimes, when we least expect it, angry mommy comes out.
Maybe your child just won’t listen. How many times do you have to say, “Please clean your room? or stop hitting your brother?” Before you know it, you snap at your child or spouse. Seriously, can’t you just listen? (ugh, I’ve said this before. Not a great feeling afterward.)
I’ve been there. I have had to apologize for snapping at my child before.
Do you know what the cool thing about kids is? They are quick to forgive because they love you even with all your faults.
We can all agree that “angry mommy,” as I like to call her, can and will happen for many reasons.
- fatigue
- stress
- anxiety
- disobedience
- high expectations
These are just to name a few.
Here’s when angry mommy becomes a problem when she rules your life and household.
We cannot allow angry mommy to come in and take residence. She’s like the barely tolerable relative that you see every once in a while but you wouldn’t want to live with you full-time.
She wreaks havoc on your family, your marriage, your relationships, and your household. It’s our job to reign her in and get her under control, then kick her out of the house. (This is not to say she won’t try to come to visit again; she will.) If you are ready to become a calmer mom today, here are my top two habits to start implementing in your life today.
Habit Number One: Make Self-Care a Priority
Okay, I know you all have heard this analogy before. Your airplane is going down; whose air mask do you put on first?
It’s not your spouse or children. It’s your own.
You have to fill your cup first to be able to pour out. And when you do? Don’t feel guilty about it.
It is hard to drink from an empty cup. You have to take the time to fill it up, or you will experience fatigue and stress more often.
Self-care looks different for everyone. Figure out what it looks like for you, and then set aside time to take care of yourself.
A few ideas are:
- bubble bath with your favorite music
- spa day
- shopping day
- coffee date with a friend or by yourself
- reading a good book
- getting your hair done
- eating healthier
- going for a run or putting in that workout DVD
Your self-care will not look like your best friend’s self-care. That is okay. Figure out what you enjoy and do it.
Habit Number Two: Set Clear Rules and Boundaries for Your Kids
What are your household rules? What do you expect from your children?
Sit down with your spouse and figure out what you expect from your children. Do you expect them to be kind to each other? Respectful to you? No jumping on the furniture or running outside?
Whatever your household rules are, stick to them.
We keep our household rules pretty simple and follow the Lord’s two commands. Love your God and love your neighbor.
We expect our children to be respectful to each other and mommy and daddy; anything that doesn’t show respect for others isn’t tolerated in our home.
So if they hit their sibling, it’s not tolerated. If they disobey mommy and daddy, it’s not tolerated.
Very simple.
What are your household rules? They may look different than mine, and that is okay. Whatever they are, make sure your children know there is NO gray area.
Everything is black and white.
I hate disciplining my children. But it’s something I have to do. We all do as parents.
When you set the rules and boundaries, be sure to follow through.
It’s all in the follow-through, mommas. There have times that I told my children, if you disobey me again you will be not be allowed to watch T.V. for three days.
On the third day sometimes I’m tempted to give in. But I can’t! If I do, it’ll undo the whole point of the discipline!
When your children know what to expect, the boundary-pushing will start to decrease. They will remember, oh mommy is serious, I better not push it.
When the boundary-pushing decreases, the calmer mommy becomes because you won’t have to discipline for the same things all the time. (Read: How to Make Your To-Do List Work for You.)
Self-care and clear boundaries are two habits that are difficult to form. But they are so important, momma. You can become a calmer mom today!
What to do now: Join Chaos to Calm Mom Fb Group Today!