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Tips For the Overwhelmed Mom
Overwhelm is expected as a mom.
Have you ever had a season with your parents in the journey where you feel overwhelmed and stressed?
The truth is every mom goes through this stage. Depending on your circumstances, it can last for several days or months. Being stressed and overwhelmed as a mom does not mean you are a terrible mom. It does not mean that you’re wrong for having feelings either. This means that you or you need to take care of yourself and acknowledge what you are going through as a mom so you can take care of those you are responsible for and love. (Read: How to Say Goodbye to Angry Mommy.)
Why Do We Feel We Must Take on Everything and Be Perfect?
We can often become overwhelmed and stressed as moms because we feel like we must take on everything and be perfect. So many people love to tell us the best way to be a mom, when they live outside of our four walls, but the truth is there are many different ways to be a good mom and no way to be a perfect one. When we let go of that desire and the thought that we must be perfect to be a good mom, our stress and being overwhelmed subside slightly.
This doesn’t mean you don’t have other reasons to feel stressed and overwhelmed in your motherhood journey.
Reasons Why You Can Feel Overwhelmed
1. It’s a Tough Season
Sometimes, as a mom, you simply go through a tough season. Seasons can last for a number of days, months, or even years. Sometimes, it can be because you’re dealing with an unexpected medical circumstance in your family.
You could be going through a tough stage with your children or a different type of tough season. But tough seasons add to our stress and overwhelm us.
2. Big Transitions
Transitions as a family can also add to our stress as moms. Last year, we adopted a little boy from Vietnam, and this past year has been one big transition into adapting as a family. There are other transitions that you can go through as a mom. You can move, have a new baby, or have a new work situation; several different transitions can disrupt the peace flow in your house.
3. Having No support
Sometimes, it boils down to not having any support Or the type of support you need as a mom.
4. Taking on Too Much
Sometimes, we feel that, as moms, we need to be able to do everything perfectly. When we take on too much, we can start feeling overwhelmed and stressed.
5. Stressors (Financial, Contention with Those Close to Us, Outside Factors)
Also, stressors outside or even inside our household can disrupt our stress levels and cause us to be overwhelmed as moms. Some of these stressors can include financial stressors, a disagreement or dispute with somebody you love, someone in your family or your friend being sick, and just outside stresses that affect our family life.
How to Help Yourself When You are Feeling Overwhelmed
The good news is you don’t have to stay stressed and overwhelmed as a mom. It’s not something that comes with the territory. There are certain things you can do to help yourself feel your very best and be able to be there for your family.
Lower Your Expectations of Yourself
Sometimes, it all boils down to expecting too much out of ourselves. I’ve been there before. We expect ourselves to be able to do it all; that means, after all, we are the best mom, right? However, you are the best mom for your kids regardless of whether you take on everything or not. But you can be your very best when you take care of yourself and don’t expect yourself to be able to do everything all the time. It’s a form of self-care.
Talk to Someone Who Understands
It helps in life when you have someone in your corner. Talking to someone who understands, who has been there, or who is walking along this journey with you can’t be tremendously helpful. When we feel isolated and alone as moms, our stress levels and our triggers can go up.
Get Moving
Exercise, or just simply getting outside and walking, can do wonders for a person’s soul. If you’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed as a mom, I encourage you to get outside if you can go for a walk and clear your head. Or start an exercise routine that can help you with your endorphins and help you feel less stressed. Exercise has been proven to reduce stress and help you feel your best.
Name Seven Things You are Thankful For
When I start to feel overwhelmed or stressed and aggravated with my family or myself, it helps when I take a moment to be thankful for what I have in my life. Take a piece of paper and write down seven things or more you are grateful for. This can help put your mind in perspective.
Make Time for Yourself
Make time for yourself. This is self-care. Do not put yourself on the back burner because the more you neglect yourself and your needs, the more likely you are to start feeling stressed and resentful because you have to take care of everybody else but can’t take care of yourself.
Do not feel selfish for making time for yourself and caring for your needs. If you need to leave the house by yourself, do it. If you need to get coffee with a friend, then do it. Do something that will make time for you.
Be Present
When our minds think about something we have to get done, or something stressing us out like a sickness in the family or financial problems, focusing on our stress level makes it hard to enjoy our children and family. One thing that can help is to make it a point to be present in the moment with your family and friends and try not to think and stress about everything that you need to get done.
This can help lower your anxiety level when you take one thing at a time. Do you know the saying we’ll cross that bridge when we get there? This applies to real motherhood life.
Take Something Off Your To-Do List
Sometimes reducing your stress level and feelings of being overwhelmed as a mom boils down to taking something off your to-do list. If you are still feeling stressed and overwhelmed, I encourage you to look at what is on your to-do list and think about the things that can wait. What is something that you can put off until tomorrow or next week that is not as dire as you think it is? Take it off and put it on the list of different days to do it.
Remember, you are Only Human. It’s Normal to Feel Overwhelmed and Stressed.
Try to remember that you are not perfect. You are only human. There are no such things as perfect moms. And there are no such things as moms who are always peaceful. It’s just not possible; if anyone tells you otherwise, they lie to you. Yes, there are things we can do to help be peaceful and calm most of the time, but life will throw you curveballs, and there will be days you wake up on the wrong side of the bed. The best thing you can do for yourself, and your family is to give yourself grace, give your family grace, and try again. (Read: Dear Internet, I’m Not a Perfect Mom.)
What to do next:
- Follow Positive Psychology in Parenting on Facebook!
- Learn more about what Positive Psychology is and how to apply it to your parenting journey.