Table of Contents
Do You Let Irritation and Frustration Rule Your Motherhood?
I have a confession: I am not always a calm mom, sometimes I’m an irritated mom. I wake up daily and strive to be the calmest mom I can be. But sometimes, I come up short. And that is OK. I have unnecessarily snapped at my children out of frustration and irritation. I have unnecessarily snapped my husband out of frustration and irritation. If you find yourself like I did, you don’t have to stay stuck, These tips can help you go from irritated to calm as a mom. (Read: 7 Ways to Reduce Stress as a Stay-at-Home Mom.)
It’s normal because you’re human, and we’re all human, and we’re all going to make mistakes. But it’s when we allow frustration and irritation to roll over our motherhood in our household that it becomes a problem.
Is it Possible to be a Calmer Mom?
Sometimes, becoming a calm mom may seem like a far-fetched dream: too many triggers, emotions, and too much you must do on your plate.
Here’s the thing: it is possible to be a calmer mom. How do I know? Because I have lived it. I have a loud frustration and irritation about controlling how I react to situations in my household.
I have been a reactive parent. And I know that being a reactive parent is not a good path for my family or children. A better option is becoming a peaceful parent. But how do you become a peaceful or call mom when you’re so used to reacting to situations based on emotions?
How Can Your Irritation Affect Your Household?
Do you know the old saying that if Mama isn’t happy, nobody is? I know that this is supposed to be a funny thing. But it’s true. This is true because you are the center of your household. Yes, other people are in your household, but the mother can make or break the atmosphere and the household. I know that is unfair, and I’m not saying that you can’t have your emotions and frustrations because of this. But it is important to be mindful of how our reactions to different things and emotions play a part in our spouse’s and child’s days.
If you don’t believe me, then experiment. When your child wakes up happy, snap at them for something unnecessary. After you do that, watch the light go out of their day. This might seem extreme, but it’s happened to me before, and if you’re being honest with yourself, it’s happened to you before. Am I right? And now do the same thing to your spouse.
You have the ability, as the foundation of your house, to build it up or tear it down. I don’t know about you, but I want to build up my household, spouse, and children. And this comes with being intentional about how we react to situations.
Simple Tips to Go from Irritated Mom to Calmer Mom.
1. Make Self-Care a Priority
You cannot pour from an empty cup. I know you have heard the same before, but it is true. Moms are the only people in society who get told that they need to sacrifice self-care in order to be good moms. This is not true. In fact, I would argue that in order to be a good mom, you need to prioritize self-care. When you feel your best and you are taking care of yourself, you are more capable of taking care of the people you are responsible for. Self-care is one way to reduce the risk of waking up an irritated mom.
2. Use the Hair Tie Trick
I have heard this trick in 10 different ways. The concept is the same. When you are at home with your children, put a hair tie on your wrist. When you become irritated and snapping at your children, and you recognize it immediately, move the hair tied to the other wrist.
Continue to do this all day. This simple activity can help you recognize how your emotions are portrayed towards your children. This exercise can help you recognize when you’re irritated and frustrated. I’ve also read another way to do this is to grab a stack of hair ties, and every time you are irritated towards your children, then put a hair tie on your wrist so that at the end of the day, you will see how many times you were irritated. This is a great way to start recognizing moments you may not have recognized before.
3. Learn to Recognize Your Triggers
What sets you off? What irritates or annoys you? Is it not having any time in the morning by yourself? If this is the case, do your best to get up in the morning before your children wake up. Do you become irritated when you feel unprepared for the day? Take a few minutes every evening to plan your next day.
Learn to recognize what triggers you and what makes you irritated and annoyed. Then, take action to help curb those irritations and annoyances. I know that there are unavoidable stressors in our lives as adults that can cause us to be irritated. That is when recognizing your triggers comes in handy because you can manage them and learn to control them so that you are not taking your annoyances out on your children.
4. Start a Journal and Write it Down
Having an outlet to talk about how you’re feeling is important. I’m a huge advocate for having somebody to talk to, whether a close friend, spouse, mom, or even a counselor. But not everybody has those, so if you feel more comfortable, start a journal and start writing down those things that are irritating you. Get those things out so they’re not bottled up and spilling out on the people you love.
5. Find a Tribe of Moms
Do you have a close friend you can talk to about what is going on in your life? Do you have somebody you can talk to when you’re annoyed or irritated and need to blow off steam?
Find your mommy tribe. Find other women who understand you have been in your shoes and are going through what you’re going through right now. Nobody wants to do this parenting journey alone. But with the busyness of our daily lives, moms often feel incredibly alone.
6. Take a Look at Your Expectations of Yourself and Your Child
Sometimes, I notice that I start feeling more annoyed and frustrated when I expect too much out of myself. I expect myself to be able to do everything, but sometimes, I have to prioritize. Sometimes, I have to take a look at my expectations and say, “Wow, Jenna, you have really put too much on your shoulders, and you need to bring it down just a little bit.”
It is also essential to examine your expectations of your children. Humans are humans, and everybody makes mistakes and fears. If your expectations are too high, you’ll feel more irritated than if you just relaxed and approached situations calmly and peacefully.
7. Make a Plan to Combat Stress
Create a plan. I am not a planner. My personality is type B. However, I am married to someone who is type A, and I have learned that it is easier for all of us and our house to plan certain things like chores and events to combat my stress, the stress on my husband, and the stress on my children.
One simple thing you can do is plan your day or week ahead of time. That way, you will not feel stressed out, your family will not feel stressed, and you can enjoy each other more. Are you tired of being an irritated mom? Try one of these simple tips today.
What to do now: Join Chaos to Calm Mom Fb Group Today!