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No one told us it would be tough when we started on this parenting gig, right? That’s sometimes how I feel. Giving birth was the easy part. Becoming and staying in a peaceful mom takes a ton of work. But what is peaceful parenting?
It has stretched me to become a peaceful parent. I will not lie; I have struggled with being a reactive mom before. Reactive parenting is when you react in the moment without considering the entire situation. But there are ways to become a peaceful mom with intention. (Read: Dear Internet, I’m Not a Perfect Mom.)
It Takes Some Stretching to Become Peaceful Parents
It’s common, right? To react instead of thinking it out as a human, even as a mom. But to be a peaceful mom, we must think about the outcome we desire; we must think about feelings, emotions, and situations instead of how we feel in that moment.
Disclaimer: You can’t be peaceful all the time.
I want to add this disclaimer. You will not be a peaceful mom all the time. I want to address this because I have received comments from people who have misunderstood my post. It’s important to realize you will not be a calm person or mom 100% of the time. I’m not a calm mom or a person 100% of the time. It’s not possible. But I believe it is possible to wake up every day and try our best to be a more peaceful parent for our children.
Why Peaceful Parenting Can Change Your Household Around
If you have ever been a reactive parent, you know it can steal the joy right out of your household. It’s not fair, but it’s true when they say that mom controls the tone of the house. If you are in a bad mood most of the time, your family will be in a bad mood. If you are in a good mood, your family will be in a good mood. They can feel the joy vibrating off of you. They can also feel the frustration. Choosing to be a peaceful mom every day or at least strive to be a peaceful mom can change your household.
Here are 12 Ways to Become a Peaceful Mom Today
Focus on the Connection While Correcting Your Child
Undoubtedly, the discipline plays a huge role in how we raise our children. You can’t raise children without discipline. But I wholeheartedly believe that discipline is different than punishment. When disciplining our children, we want to connect to their hearts as much as possible.
Correction without connection isn’t going to get to you very far. When you are in the middle of disciplining your child, try to focus your thoughts on connecting to their hearts while you are correcting their behavior.
Set Positive Boundaries
Everybody needs boundaries. Even adults need boundaries. Setting positive boundaries with your children will help you feel less stretched than when you are frustrated.
Follow Through
I wholeheartedly believe that follow-through is crucial in our parenting. Your child must know that your authority is not lacking. Therefore, if Mommy says you are not going to get a piece of candy right now, then they should know that Mommy means business.
Far too often, as moms and dads, we don’t want the battle. When our child pitches a fit, we don’t want to deal with that. However, people must realize that they are teaching their children that what Mommy says goes. You want to be able to exercise your authority.
Stay Consistent
Staying consistent can be challenging. However, consistency will be your best friend in the long run because your child will know what to expect. If you have specific rules in your house, staying consistent is essential even when you want to avoid dealing with them.
For example, if you say no to dessert until some dinner has been eaten, you must follow through and stay consistent with that rule. This will help your child see the clear lines of what is acceptable and what isn’t. When our children know the clear line, they will be less likely to push the boundaries.
Take a Break
Everybody needs a break, even you as a mom. Feel free to take a break during the day or the week. When you feel overwhelmed, take a breather in your room for a few minutes. If you need a break from the entire household, ask her husband or somebody you trust to watch your kids for a couple of hours so you can be away. There is no shame in doing something for yourself as a mom.
Dance More
Have you ever had a dance party in the middle of your kitchen? Dance parties can turn your entire day around. No joke. If stressed, turn on the music and have a fun dance party with your children.
They will remember it as a fun day with Mommy, and it’s a way that you can destress from what is frustrating you.
Listen to Classical Music (Listen, it Works!)
This one might seem funny to you. But classical music has been proven to help calm you down when stressed. We love to listen to classical music. It helps the children focus more on their schoolwork, and it helps me relax when I’m feeling overwhelmed.
Use Natural Consequences
Sometimes, all the child needs are natural consequences. Now, there is a line for natural consequences. Some things need clear consequences from Mommy and Daddy. For example, if your child is putting themselves or somebody else in danger, then no natural consequences will not work in that situation. If your child runs out in the middle of the road, you don’t want a natural consequence.
But when it’s small, it is OK to allow natural consequences so your child will learn to listen. For example, my son loves to dress himself. But he does not listen when I tell him what the weather will be like. Here in the summer heat, he has been dressing like it’s the middle of winter. One day last week, he got hot because he wore a long-sleeved shirt, and after I told him it was hot outside, he should wear something that won’t roast him.
Did I go home and get him a change of clothes? No, I did not. I handed him a bottle of water and told him he was the one who decided not to listen to me. That’s a natural consequence. It’s a little thing like that that is OK to allow.
Regulate Your Own Emotions
We can’t help our children with their emotions if we don’t have any control over our own. Focus on regulating your own emotions and figuring out your triggers. When you do that, you will become a more peaceful mom, guaranteed.
Validate Your Child’s Emotions
We all want to feel validated. We think our emotions need to be validated, so why is our child any different? You may not understand what your child is feeling and may even think it’s a bit silly. But that doesn’t mean that it’s not real and meaningful. Validate your child’s feelings when they’re feeling strong emotions. They will feel love and value, making Power struggles less likely.
Talk to Your Child Like an Individual
Your child is born a person. This comes from Charlotte Mason. They are a whole person. Sometimes, it’s easy to think of kids as not actual individuals with their thoughts and ideas. But they are. So, talk to your child like they have their personality because they do. Talk to your child like they have their own thoughts because they do. Your child is an individual, and they want their individuality to be cherished.
Stay Positive
It’s easy to become overwhelmed and stressed out when we are negative. Try your best to stay positive during the day, even when you feel frustrated. For every negative thought you think, come up with 10 positive things in your life. This is a great exercise to help you turn your day around and become more positive about your life and your day today.
You Can Become a More Peaceful Mom Today
It may not feel like it but becoming a more peaceful man is possible. With practice, time, and a lot of grace, you can make it happen for yourself and your family. If you are constantly frustrated, you can start enjoying your family and household today. (Read: Dear Husband, Thank You.)
What to do now: Join Chaos to Calm Mom Fb Group Today!