12 Ways to Become a More Peaceful Mom Today

Motherhood can be stressful. Sometimes, it’s easy to give in to the stresses and let the dreams of being a peaceful mom fly out the window.

Sure, having a peaceful home is a great dream, but many moms feel it is out of their reach.

This was me a few years ago.

We were new parents with a toddler and a baby and fresh in our grief after the death of our son. I felt peace in a home was a far-fetched theory.

I started The Peaceful Nest to create a peaceful home for my family and myself.

And I want my children to look back and think, wow, my mom was peaceful. (Read: How Can You Become a Calmer Mom?)

I don’t want to merely survive motherhood. I want to enjoy it.

What does it mean to be a peaceful mom?

Do you know the saying, “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy?”

It is meant to be a funny quip at mothers, but how true it can be!

The mother sets the tone for her household.

What a huge responsibility we have as wives and mothers! It may not seem fair, but God created women to be nurturers.

That means the responsibility for peace in our homes and families often lands on our shoulders.

We can only create a peaceful home life for our husbands and children if we are peaceful.

Being a peaceful mom should be our top priority.

Of course, this does not mean that mommy will not have a bad day, or you will ever be stressed or overwhelmed.

But being a peaceful mom is more than a feeling.

It creates an atmosphere for your family, yourself, and your home.

Peace will not always come quickly. It may be something you will have to work extra hard on when the challenging days hit.

It’s important to remember just because you have a bad day as a mom. It does not mean you’re a terrible mother.

It means you are a human being just like everyone else.

Now that we have reminded ourselves that no one is perfect, we can become a more peaceful mom!

How to get started with these habits of immensely peaceful moms.

What do you need to become a more peaceful mom?

A cup of coffee.

Or tea.

But in all seriousness, this list is not a one-size-fits-all. You may find one thing you can use for your family to help you become a more peaceful mom, or you may use all these tips!

Tips for Successfully developing habits of immensely peaceful moms.

How do I become a peaceful mom?

In today’s culture, there are so many pressures on moms to be better, do better, and do it all.

It is enough to make a woman lose her mind.

How do we become more peaceful moms?

I have compiled a list of twelve ways to become a peaceful mom, even when it seems impossible!

These are in no way the ONLY ways to bring peace into your home as a mom.

But I have found in my own life these tips have helped me come to a place where I am not only peaceful but also helping those around me become more peaceful!

12 Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms

Allow your children to try to work disagreements out together first.

This.

I am guilty of jumping right in at the first sign of animosity.

“Mommy, S took that from me!” “Mommy, B is not playing fairly.” The minute I step in, the bickering gets worse, OR they play nicely for 30 seconds and then break into another feud.

Playing ref can wear on a mom.

One day, I thought, I don’t remember my mom stepping in every time my brothers and I argued.

Sometimes, if the argument began to get out of hand, she would step in, but other than that, we worked it out on our own.

Or we didn’t and ended up playing by ourselves for a while.

One thing remained the same. We ALWAYS made up in the end.

So, what changed?

Why do we moms need to step in and avert every spat?

I have a theory on how to become a peaceful mom.

It has to do with the fact that we feel like everyone NEEDS to get along, combined with helicopter parenting.

I do not remember my mom being beside me when arguing with my brothers. I’m sure she was in the next room but did not run when she heard us arguing.

She was not playing with us.

She was probably making dinner or unwinding from a long day at work. So, she let us try to work it out.

That is the difference.

We need to give our children tools to work out discord with other people without someone else always stepping in. Where better to practice this than at home with their siblings?

The people who will most likely always have their backs and love them regardless of an argument?

If we are constantly stepping in at the first sign of a disagreement with their siblings, how will our children cope when a friend disagrees with them or if they have a conflict with a peer?

How about when they grow up and become adults? How will they cope when a co-worker, boss, or friend disagrees?

We have seen what adulthood looks like when parents step in too often. As moms, let us do ourselves a favor and allow our children to work out disagreements together first. If they cannot work it out, evaluate if you need to step in. The truth is not everyone will get along constantly, and not everyone will agree with us.

The sooner our children learn this, the sooner they can develop tools to deal with more complicated situations than “my sister won’t let me play with my favorite toy that SHE had first.”

And as a bonus: You will start feeling more like a peaceful mom.

Limit screen time for your children and yourself!

I do not know about your children, but they become fussy, cranky, and disagreeable when my children have too much screen time.

So do I!

Screens divide our attention from one another. If you limit the screens in your house, you may find more peace showing up!

Allow your child to have free time.

Free time or free play. Do children even know what that is these days? As moms, we are often pressured to entertain our children. Sit for hours and ensure they receive entertainment, stimulation, education, etc. It can be downright exhausting for a mother to keep up. But what would happen if we took a step back? Let your children enjoy a couple of hours of entirely uninterrupted playtime.

Playtime is when they use their imagination and learn to play alone or with other children.

I’ll be candid; I wouldn’t say I like playing with my children.

I play games, and I love making crafts.

But playing?

I would prefer them to learn how to beat boredom themselves without being entertained by me or electronics 24/7.

How do children get to that point? We have to offer them plenty of free time. Set aside an hour or two a day where you say, “Okay, kids, you go play alone or with one another. Mommy will go do [insert your activity of choice here!].” If your children are not used to entertaining themselves, this may take a while, but don’t worry; kids catch on quickly! Before you know it, they will use those imaginations, and you will feel more peaceful!

Do not over-schedule your family.

“Ah, don’t you hate the “What activity is your child in right now” question?

I know I do.

Since we are adopting, we have decided to take the summer off from extracurricular activities. However, even then, I limit activities to one at a time.

Otherwise, we become too burnt out, and our children feel over-scheduled.

This is not good for you as a mom or your children!

Yes, it is suitable for children to be involved, but there is such a thing as being too involved.

Pay attention to your child’s trigger signs.

Are they feeling overwhelmed?

Are they putting too much pressure on themselves?

These can show that your child needs to cool it with the extras and have breathing room.

Lower your expectations.

Sometimes, we put too much pressure on ourselves and our children to act a certain way.

Do not be loud in the restaurant. Sit completely still. Act like an adult.

If you feel frustrated that your child is not constantly behaving the way you expect, you may need to reevaluate your expectations.

Please don’t get me wrong.

Different age groups in different situations should expect certain behaviors. There are activities I know my five-year-old can handle that my two-year-old cannot. Do not put your child in a situation you know would be too overwhelming for them and then become frustrated when they behave differently than you want.

Some situations are unavoidable. If you know a function is coming up that requires a confident expectation from your children, such as a funeral or a wedding, take the time to prepare them first.

Then, hope for the best.

If all else fails, duck out early or hire a babysitter. Always remember, though, that you have several years on your child. They will not act like an adult; they will act like a child. But they will gain experiences that prepare them for certain situations. So do not be too hard on them and lower your expectations.

Stay consistent.

This can be difficult for parents, especially moms. But, whether you work outside the home, inside the house, or are with your children all day long, the last thing most parents want to do is discipline their children.

I love a quote from Charlotte Mason, an educator from the 1800s.

“The mother who takes pains to endow her children with good habits secures for herself smooth and easy days, while she who lets their habits take care of themselves has a weary life of endless friction with the children.”

Charlotte Mason

I remember this quote whenever my children don’t obey, throw a fit, or do something they need to be disciplined for. It may be challenging right now, but I’m setting the stage for my days to be smooth as a mother and for my children to function as contributing members of society. Staying consistent will be worth the hard work as the days, months, and years fly by, creating a peaceful home life your family enjoys for you.

Do not sweat the small stuff.

This one goes hand in hand with the number five. Some things are not important. Spilled milk, anyone?

Suppose we choose to be calm about the insignificant events in our lives that do not matter. In that case, we will become calmer when more significant circumstances surround us.

Do not allow other people’s opinions to define you as a mother. You are you. God chose you to be your child’s mother. You are the perfect mother to your children. You know them best. Chances are, you understand your children better than anyone else. So, own it. Own who you are as a mom and your parenting decisions.

You owe no one else an explanation.

You can listen to opinions if you like, but always take them with a grain of salt. Because that is all; they are other people’s opinions.

And really, who cares what other people think?

Have quiet time.

I LOVE quiet time at my house!

My children spend a specific chunk of time lying down for naps/ quiet time. Also, my oldest no longer takes naps but will play quietly in her room. My children get that alone time to unwind, and I also get a small chunk of time to recharge.

I can stay more peaceful because of this break, too.

Try to keep a routine.

Routines are important. Children thrive on routines.

If a child is unsure what will happen next in their day-to-day, they are more likely to act out and be moody. However, if a child has a consistent routine where they know what to expect, for the most part, they tend to be calmer. Which, in turn, helps mommy be more relaxed and more peaceful. Children need to know when to expect the basics. When are my meals? Am I napping soon? When do I go to bed? What comes before what? What comes after this activity?

A specific routine so your child knows their meals and rest time is coming soon will help your day go more smoothly.

Do not be so hard on yourself.

You’re only human, and you are doing the best you can! Do not be so hard on yourself!

Give yourself grace.

The more grace you give yourself, the more peace you will bring into your life.

Practice patience!

Patience is a virtue, as I always tell my kids! Practice, practice, practice! Every day is a new day to start again.

I hope you found something useful and can use some of these tools to bring more peace into your life and home today and help you become a peaceful mom!

Common Questions/FAQ About Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms

• My child doesn’t want to “do” quiet time; what can I do? Start with a routine. Stay consistent. Take it one day at a time. Find something your child loves to do if they don’t nap anymore, and offer it to them quietly.
• Does my child need quiet time? In short, no. You must do what is best for your family; if your child doesn’t need quiet time, follow your gut. Read your child’s cues, don’t push them beyond their limits, and allow them time to rest throughout their day.
• I feel too overwhelmed; where should I start? Start with one habit at a time. I recommend implementing a routine first for your family. After a few weeks, add another habit.
• Where can I get routine cards for my child? Pinterest has so many resources for families to get organized. (Trust me, I need it because I AM NOT organized.)
• My mornings are overwhelming; how can I stop the morning chaos? I used to HATE mornings. And I knew something had to give; I knew if I wanted to change my home into a peaceful home, I needed to change my morning habits.

The Last Thing You Need to Know about Habits of Immensely Peaceful Moms.

No mom is perfect, and no mom will be peaceful 100% of the time.

You strive for peace daily, but sometimes you won’t. That is okay.

Trust me when I say I am not a peaceful mom 100% of the time.

This is why I created the Peaceful Nest.

I want to help myself and others strive to become the best versions of themselves as moms.

Let’s do this together

Motherhood can be stressful.